lonely lives
by baby hosey
Summary: my first gabby fic gibbs is lonely after mikes death and turns to abby for help. will have smut at later date, its me writing what else do you expect. ;) please keep reading and reviewing.
1. Chapter 1

Gibbs lay in bed, he couldn't sleep, and so much was going on in his head. He'd lost mike and his world collapsed around him, he now had nothing, all he had was work and dead bodies around him, he needed something new. A project? No that didn't make him feel any less... Empty, what could fill him again? He didn't know and it plagued him, especially at night.

The next day he went into work as normal

"Morning Gibbs, Ducky was looking for you" said McGee sadly

"Thanks" said Gibbs and made his way down.

The team had all been hit by Mike's death, and it was still fresh for them all.

He walked into autopsy

"Uh morning Jethro" said Ducky

"Morning, you wanted to see me?"

"Yes I did. Mr Palmer make yourself busy for a moment please"

"Ok Doctor Mallard" said Palmer and left.

"Now come sit" said Ducky walking to the desk

Gibbs sat, guessing this was going to be therapy session

"Now I think you need to talk" stated Ducky

"Do I?" stated Gibbs, he didn't want to talk

"Jethro, you don't need to keep it all bottled up, talk to me. I can see your struggling"

Gibbs sighed "yes I am. But what will talking do?"

"It will get it off your chest, and I may be able to help"

"I just feel so empty"

"How?"

Gibbs looked at Ducky stunned, "how?" he repeated "I have no one around me. All I have is work and that's it. Before I at least had someone else outside of the job. I've lost Mike that was everything to me"

"Then find someone outside work?"

"I can't, I work so much"

"Then find an understanding woman"

"I can't put another woman through that, I'm here too much"

"Then find a woman inside the job"

Gibbs couldn't think how he could meet a woman in the job

"Jethro, there is a woman around you all the time who would love to help you, and I think she needs to comfort and support as well"

This confused him, what woman was around him all the tine? Ziba? No he wouldn't take sloppy seconds after Tony

"Abby" said Ducky

"No Duck"

"Why not? She idolises you and you get on so well"

Gibbs was amazed Ducky would suggest Abby, a colleague at most

"No Duck, rule twelve"

"But you'd be happier, and so would Abby"

Gibbs shook his head "I'll think about it"

"Please do, you need something"

"Ok Duck, are we done?"

"Yes if your finished talking?"

"Yes. Bye Ducky" and he walked out.

Dating Abby? It would ease his emptiness, but would it kill their working relationship? He did love Abby but how did she feel him?

He slowly strolled along the corridor to Abby's lab. A conversation they had rolling around his head.

Abby had been set up and it brought up something he did a long time ago

_"Then tell me how much I've been like a daughter to you, and how much you love me..."_

_He couldn't tell her that, he didn't see her as a daughter, but she was pleading with him_

_"Will that help?" he asked_

_"No... What I really need to know, Gibbs, is if your gonna love me... no matter what"_

_He just looked at her stunned unsure what to say, then words came _

_"I will always love you Abbs. Come here" he said and held her to him "they've set you up to hurt me, its wrong they did this to you but do what you feel is right"_

_"Thanks Gibbs. I love you too" and she left._

Is that how Abby saw their relationship? Just as father daughter? Why was he even thinking about them being more?

"Gibbs" came Abby enthusiastic voice

"Hey Abbs" he said as she charged at him throwing her arms around his neck,

He hugged her back "you ok Abbs?" he asked

"I'm tired, need caffeine"

Then he remembered he hadn't stopped on the way in to get her caf-pow

"Sorry Abbs I didn't stop on the way in"

Abby pulled from his arms "its fine, ill pop out for one"

"I forgot my coffee too" he stated,

With Abby away from him he felt the emptiness become more; when she hugged him it went away a bit.

"Abbs shall we go get a drink? There's no work in yet"

"I'd like that, thanks Gibbs. Ill get my coat"

Gibbs just nodded.

They stopped by the office; Tony and Ziba were now in

"I'm off to get coffee with abbs, I've got my cell" said Gibbs

"Ok boss" said Tony

They left and slowly walked to the coffee shop

"You ok Gibbs?" asked Abby taking his arm

He looked at her working out if she wanted honesty or comfort

"I'm ok, not sleeping but its ok. How are you doing?"

"I'm not sleeping, I'm very sad about Mike but its ok"

"Maybe we should have some beers at mine one night soon, might help us both sleep"

"Can I stay over too?" said Abby "I'd not want to drive hone after" she quickly added

"Course Abbs. Shall we do it tonight?" he had a prime opportunity to have her over to see if it was more than just father daughter feelings. But with her added bit about not driving home it gave him a small hope.

"Sounds good Gibbs" she smiled.

Back at work all he could think of was Abby and how later would play out.

The day soon passed

"Hey Gibbs" came Abby's voice

"You ready?"

"Yes can we go to mine to get my stuff?"

"Course Ill follow you then I can drive you to mine, save two lots of fuel" he suggested

"Ok" said Abbs following him to the parking lot.

The drive was slow and Gibbs put on the radio, it played songs about being alone and lonely, he quickly turned it off. They pulled up and Abby got out, waving for him to follow her out

"What Abbs?" he said leaning out

"Come in with me" she said

He nodded and got out, following her in. He remained silent not sure having Abby stay over while he was like this was a good idea; the seed had been planted in his head by Ducky, would anything come of it?

"Gibbs... Hey... Wakey Wakey" came Abby's voice

"Yes Abbs?"

"You coming inside?"

He was stood at her door "yes. Sorry"

"Day dreaming?" asked Abby as he stepped in

"Yes"

"That's cute, but very un-Gibbs" said Abby trying to be serious

"Got a lot on my mind"

"I bet. Now I won't be long" and she jogged off towards her bedroom.

Gibbs remained stood in the small hall way, he imagined how it would look if he kissed Abby, or even slept with her. It looked funny and wrong, as much as he adored her, she was too young and maybe he was just confusing it all

"I'm ready" came abby's voice

"Ok let's go" he said and turned to the door.

The car journey was quiet, but Abby out the radio on

"You really listen to this channel? Ugh Gibbs" moaned Abby

It made Gibbs laugh "its just background noise"

"Ugh" moaned Abby again, turning it off

Once back at home Gibbs helped carry Abby's bag inside an he carried it up to his bedroom.

"Now you hungry?" he asked Abby who was sat on the sofa

"No, are you?"

"Not really, beer?" he'd need it even if she didn't

"Yes please"

"Ok won't be a second" and he went to get two beers

He returned and handed one to Abby, she took it and grabbed his other arm "sit with me, please"

He nodded and sat down, then Abby opened her beer and snuggled into him, he wrapped his arm over her shoulders

"What's wrong Abbs?" he asked quietly

"I'm... I'm just... I feel so lonely at times and... And I miss being around people. That's all"

This was how he felt "and empty?" he suggested

Abby moved around and looked at him "yes, How'd you..."

"I feel the same" he interrupted "that's why I've been in such a funny mood since we lost Mike"

Abby just nodded, as did Gibbs and they just sat drinking their beers.

"Another?" he offered

"Please"

"Ill bring the crate in" Gibbs said and got up, he looked at Abby who looked sad "I won't be a second then we can snuggle up again"

"Thank you" half smiled Abby

Two beers became three then four

"Uhh Gibbs no more for me. I'm gonna go wash then get ready for bed" said Abby

"That's fine" was all Gibbs said, feeling the loneliness set in as she walked across the room.

He opened a fourth beer and sat drinking it, alone. He felt that the evening had given him nothing, he'd not talked to Abby or worked anything out about her feelings for him, he'd wasted a chance and now she was off to bed, his bed. Sofa for him then.

"Gibbs" came Abby's voice

He looked up, as she walked across the room bare footed with shorts and a t-shirt on

"You ok?" she asked

"Yeah, you?" he wasn't but couldn't tell her

"Gibbs?" she said sternly

"What Abbs? I'm tired and... That's it"

"Ok, hug?" she said and walked closer to him

He went to stand but she pushed him down and pulled him into her chest, hugging his head. He liked the contact, and wrapped his arms around her butt and thighs, it felt odd hugging her that way, it sparked reactions in him which was good and it was contact.

"Come on Gibbs let's go to bed" she said and pulled back, lent in and kissed the top of his head

"Bed? With you?" he wanted to be sure

"Yes, if that's ok with you?"

"Fine with me" and he stood.

Abby took his hand and lead him across the room flicking the lounge light off then headed up the stairs.


	2. Chapter 2

Once inside Abby sat on the bed "am I OK on this side?" she asked

"fine with me" said Gibbs as he searched through his draw for a t shirt to wear to bed

"what you looking for?"

"a t shirt to wear to bed" he said as he opened another draw

"do you usually sleep in a t shirt?"

"no"

"then don't wear a t shirt, I... I don't mind"

He just nodded "be back in a second" and he walked to the bathroom.

He needed time to compose himself before he slipped into bed with... Abby... Topless... He looked at himself in the mirror, he was old and about to get into bed with an amazing woman, many years his minor, how could he even think Abby would want him? He shook his head and stripped down to his boxers, folded his clothes and walked back to the bedroom.

Opening the door he saw Abby sat on the side bed, feet on the floor

"you OK Abbs?" he asked, and walked across to her, placing his hand gently on her shoulder

"I'm fine" she said quickly

"Abby I'll sleep on the sofa if your uncomfortable"

"no, no Gibbs its fine, I was thinking"

"OK, wanna share it?"

"no thanks"

"OK then into bed?"

Abby nodded and stood pulling the duvet back then slipped into the bed "you too" she said

As told Gibbs went around to his side and slipped in then pulled the duvet up over them both.

Abby laid on her side, knees bent up to her belly, Gibbs on his back, arms to his sides just laid there, it felt wrong, he wanted to hold her, to comfort her

"Abbs" "Gibbs" both said at once

This sparked hope in Gibbs "yes Abbs" he said rolling onto his side, gently placing a hand on her back

"can you sleep closer?"

"yeah" and he moved closer behind her, sliding his hand to her side "better"

"no" and she grabbed his hand pulling him even closer, until his entire front was touching her back

The amount of control the demanded from him was amazing "better now?" he asked

"yes, for you?"

"yes"

"OK, night Gibbs"

"night Abbs" he replied enjoying the contact he leant in and kissed her neck then settled back to sleep, his arm wrapped across her stomach.

Soon Abby was asleep but sleep didn't come to Gibbs, he laid thinking, worrying more like. He was worried he'd upset Abby by kissing her neck, it was a sensitive place for every woman but did she mind? She was asleep with his arm across her and she still had hold of his hand, so maybe not. Now he knew why he was glad to be single and on his own but he did miss this... Having some one close, the feeling of being cared for. He settled back next to her and sleep soon came to him.

Next he knew his alarm went off, he gently moved back and turned it off

"is it wake up time?" asked a sleepy little voice

"not yet, want a coffee?" he asked pulling away from her

"not yet" and she pulled him back in

"OK we have about an hour till we need to leave"

"OK" she said and snuggled into his body again.

Feeling brave he leant up on his elbow and stroked her cheek, and moved her hair from her face

"that's nice" she whispered

He just nodded.

After a few minutes "I'm gonna go make coffee, wanna shower first?" he asked

"please"

"OK" he kissed her cheek and got up.

Soon in the kitchen he refused to think of Abby in the shower but it was difficult, she was an amazing looking woman.

"it won't make itself" came her voice bringing him back to reality

"won't it? Uh that's where I've been going wrong" he laughed and turned to face her

She was stood in his large blue dressing gown with bare feet again"looks better on you than me" he laughed and turned back pouring her a coffee then handed it to her

"thank you" she said taking it from him

"I'll shower then we can get ready to go" and he quickly left the kitchen, coffee in hand.

Gibbs showered and walked out the bathroom in just a towel, half not thinking, half expecting Abby to be sat ready in the lounge, but no, he stepped in the room "uh hey Abbs" he said as she was stood doing her make up in the dresser mirror

"sorry Gibbs shall I leave so you can dress?" she asked stopping doing her eye liner

"no carry on, I'll just slip into my boxers in the hall" he quickly grabbed a pair and walked out again.

Boxers on he walked back in, Abby was still doing her make up, "I never realised you had such a spread of hair on your chest" she stated so matter of factly

He just shrugged unsure of an answer, the silence set in the room, and it continued till he was dressed

"ready to go?" he asked

"yes"

He nodded "shall we put your bag in my car now then I drop you home with it later?"

"yes, good plan I forgot I don't have my car" she laughed

In the car the silence continued, he was paranoid he'd upset her and he hated it

"Gibbs thanks for letting my stay last night" she suddenly said "I slept great at last. I must need Gibbs cuddles more"

"well I'm always here for "Gibbs cuddles" as you put it"

Both smiled and the tension cleared.

"morning Gibbs" said McGee as he got out of the car

"morning" he replied then he heard the passenger door open and close

"morning Timmy" came Abby's voice

"oh, hi.. Umm morning Abby" Said McGee sounding surprised,Gibbs just smiled and walked in.

All day all he could think of was Abby, and her coolness with his affections towards her. Maybe she liked him as more than a father figure, maybe he should try his luck later when he drops her home. He was amazed how one night with her could make him feel so happy and free, after so long of being... Empty.

It was getting late when he realised it was only two days till Mikes funeral, he felt awful again and nothing would make it go away. He left his desk and went to the lab

"ready to go Gibbs?" came Abby's voice

"yeah"

"OK let's go" said Abby full of enthusiasm

In the car he was silent listening to Abby talking about something which he had no idea about, not that he was even taking any of it in.

"Gibbs?" he heard that clearly

"yeah"

"talk to me"

"about?" he wasn't sure what she wanted

"its only two days away, what's happening?"

He knew what she meant "same as always, but no Ziva"

"no I meant you"

He couldn't discuss him "I'm fine"

"hmm" was all Abby said just as they pulled up

"I'll help you in with your bag" he said deflecting the topic.

Gibbs got to her door and put the bag just inside "right I will see you tomorrow" he said and went to turn to leave

"Gibbs?" came her stern voice again

He turned back "yes?"

"hug first"

He smiled which she returned, then opened his arms and she went into then. Her grip on him was tight, he felt whole and safe again, he was sure in that moment that she felt more for him, he pulled back a little and kissed her forehead

"thanks again for letting me stay"

"that's fine... Abbs"

He looked straight at her and there was a sudden spark, he had to take the moment and kiss her. He moved his left hand up to her neck and that was it, he started to lean into her, she didn't move or anything so he continued closing the gap between their lips, he could feel he breath on his lips and he closed his eyes, ready for the contact

"Gibbs... stop" came a sighed whisper

He opened his eyes "huh?" was all he managed

"I said stop Gibbs, well kinda"

He pulled right back "stop?"

"yes"

He just looked at her for a moment then had to leave, he'd made an idiot of himself. Without a word he turned and walked away

"Gibbs? Gibbs?" called Abby

But he ignored her and carried on.

He arrived home and slumped on the sofa, how could he have been so stupid? He was just seeing what he wanted to see not what was actually happening. he laid back on the sofa and stayed there, all night till the next morning when he got up and got ready for work.

All the way in he dreaded seeing anyone especially Abby, he felt stupid and just wanted to hide away. Parking the car Abby's car wasn't there yet, he wondered if she was embarrassed and ignoring him or if she was just late in.

Strolling to the office McGee was already in as always

"morning" called Gibbs

"morning" he said

Gibbs sat at his desk and set in for what he hoped would be a quiet day, he still felt awful and a complete fool.

After a few hours Vance called him up for a meeting, same old usual stuff then he returned to his desk

"Abby called for you, she wants you to go see her" said Ziva

"OK" he said calmly and walked across to the elevator

Did he really want to see Abby? What did she want to see him for? Work? Personal?

He stepped out the elevator and turned to Abby's lab, sat by the desk was Abby with Ducky by her side, both turned

"hello Jethro" said Ducky

"hello Duck, Abbs"

"hi" was all Abby said looking sad

Ducky walked past Gibbs to the door "I'll be outside and no one leaves till I'm happy this is settled. Hours if need be" and he shut the door behind him

"sorry Gibbs" said Abby staying sat

Gibbs sighed and walked over to her "why sorry?"

"I spoke to Ducky about what happened"

"that's fine"

"is it?"

"course, I'd rather it him than McGee"

"but I need to tell you too" she said reaching out for his hand, he held her hand and stepped closer again "Gibbs I only stopped you as... Your lost and I don't want to ruin what we have for nothing"

Gibbs shook his head "I'm not that lost, I love you Abbs and I did it cos I wanted to" he paused "I've been thinking a lot about my life and I feel empty" he let go of her hand and walked away, pacing "I need someone in my life, and... For some stupid reason I thought we could be together"

"why didn't you talk to me?"

"I don't do feeling talks do I?"

"no but its me Gibbs" she said walking towards him

"even more reason why I kept quiet"

"uhh" moaned Abby "rule twelve"

"yes and you're amazing" he paused "and so many years my minor"

Abby grabbed his arm "look at me"

He stopped pacing and looked at her waiting for the reason

"Gibbs that's all rubbish. I love you no matter your age, and once you've settled again after Mikes funeral we can talk but not now"

"OK" said Gibbs feeling an ease come over him "Abbs?"

"yeah"

"hug, please" he smiled opening his arms

Abby went into them and held him tight "after the funeral can we stay together? I don't like..."

"I know Abbs and yes that sounds good"

"that didn't take long" came Ducky's voice

They both turned to look at him but stayed hugging

"right my work is done" and he walked out again

"thanks duck" called Gibbs, he was thankful

"so tomorrow shall I pick you up and drop you off there then I can leave my stuff at yours when I get you" said Abby

"sound good"

"good" said Abby pulling away

"I'll see you later" said Gibbs and kissed her cheek.


End file.
